The end of an era

I’ve been avoiding this post. Not because I didn’t want to share but because every time I think about it, I cry.

Let’s back up four years. Four years ago right now I had brought this beautiful little Indian boy home after he had spent 5 years in an orphanage watching children come in and then leave with their new families. Five years of making friends and then saying goodbye. He also spent every day watching his friends at the orphanage leave for school but was not allowed to go because of his deformity. Four years ago I planned to homeschool this precious guy to try to spend time bonding and focusing on school because that seemed to be an area he really struggled with. This boy had different plans. He desperately wanted to go to school and as he watched his brother and sisters get to go he begged for the chance to be like them. I gave him that chance and he LOVED it.

RJ began at DeMotte Christian School after Christmas break, two months after coming to the US, and was loved on beyond belief. God placed him in a class of students that were perfectly hand picked to be amazing friends to him that I hope he will keep for a lifetime.

But…. RJ had a very rough beginning of his life. Our brains develop so much during those beginning years and with lack of nourishment and care they sometimes don’t reach “normal” potential. This has been the case with our guy. He is beautifully and wonderfully made, I know that full well but his life and his development have not come without challenges. Some that cannot be overcome, and that is perfectly ok with this momma.

DMC has fostered amazing positive social interactions and have gone above and beyond their private school capacity to give RJ their all academically but the reality of his complicated situation is that he needs to be somewhere that can facilitate more help.

In September we noticed school was just a whole new level of difficult for him. Fourth grade comes to the point where kids are no longer learning to read, they are reading to learn. He just cannot keep up. He never has been able to, but he didn’t really seem to notice or let it bother him until this year. After consulting the specialists, his teacher and being on our knees begging God to make clear His plan for RJ, we have decided that it is best that he move to our public school to receive the help he needs.

We have absolutely nothing against public schooling and we have great teachers and programs here in our community. Christian school was a surprise calling God gave to us right before Emma entered kindergarten. She was actually registered at both schools as we waited for God to make clear what in the world He wanted our lives to look like.

I cried through our RJ’s last IEP meeting as I tried to convey to the new and old teachers exactly what I’m feeling at the point. It’s not that I’m at all disappointed that he has to go to public school, it’s the loss for him. After years of watching friends come and go in his orphanage, now he has to do that again here. He has to leave this safe little bubbble of children where they say “oh that’s just RJ” when he does something quirky or doesn’t understand. He has to leave those amazing kids who will stick up for him when someone tries to be mean. He has to leave teachers who have followed him grade to grade as his helpers and have celebrated every little academic victory with him as though he is their own child. And yep, here I go crying again!

But….. God has made clear his plan for RJ and it is my job to obey and not doubt that He can provide him with people at his new school who will love on him. His DMC family will never be replaced but they are not going away either. We live on a small community and will have play dates and pop in to visit and all of that. And God is allowing RJ to be in a classroom environment where he can be proud of his school work and actually understand and not have to feel so lost or struggle so much with it. The teachers at his new school have been amazing in planning and being creative about how they can make learning fun and attainable for RJ without having to hold back the rest of the class.

So that ended up being more than I planned to write…. God does that to me sometimes as I process my feelings. Thanks for bearing with me :)

All that to say, please be in prayer for my special guy’s heart. He is excited but scared. And so am I.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.