Ministry Guilt

Thursday, January 10, 2019

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

—Matthew 6:33

This Saturday Jack and I leave on vacation.  I’ve hesitated to share that and even as I typed that, being human, I wonder what you’re thinking.

There’s a certain guilt that comes from being in ministry.  You know your salary is coming by donations and you feel like you can’t buy or do extra things because of what others may think or how they may judge you.  You feel the need to explain every little detail of how and why you are doing what you’re doing for fear of what your supporters may think.

The truth is, giving to ministries or to the church is a vertical thing.  People are not giving to us, they are giving back to the Lord as commanded in scripture.  This is what we were taught over and over in our ministry partnership training this summer before any of this started.  It’s not about us, it’s about Him.  But yet here I am, finding myself worrying about other people’s opinions.

I’m so thankful for this vacation.  My sister asked us to join her on this trip and we booked it last summer when our house sold.  Little did we know that one day after we get back Jack starts a very long training schedule out of town.  He will be gone every other week for the next two months and then in March he will leave for six weeks.  This timing is perfect.  God has gifted us with the resources from selling our house and to be able to do this before so much time apart.

So there I went, explaining myself to you.  But also processing my feelings on this very public, very open fashion…… maybe I’ll delete this….

I hope the next time you are tempted to judge what your pastor is driving, a trip your worship leader goes on or something as small as a missionary you support getting a pedicure, remember that they’re human, too.  They need rest, too.  They may be really great stewards with their resources, too.  The next time you’re tempted to say “it must be nice!”, try to think through the sacrifices these people have made for the gospel.  I’ve been there in the past too and I’m so thankful for the shift in my perspective and attitude.

Being human is hard and we are so very thankful for the team of people the Lord has gathered to support us.  We would never want anyone to think we’re not grateful.  We also want to be able to openly share all the ways God is blessing us.

There are many traps the enemy loves to use to divide and the spiritual battle is SO REAL, for all of us.

Thanks for letting me share :)