One Big Week

WOW, the time is flying now that Christmas is over and we’re really in full swing of school time and doctor appointments and therapy and everything that goes with our “normal” over here.

Ranjit started school last Monday and he loves it.  I was a little worried about how our mornings would go because I have my hands full getting Laila ready in the mornings and Ranjit tends to be a very. slow. eater. especially at breakfast.  I had been coaching him for a few weeks leading up to school that he would need to eat a little quicker than RJ time if he wanted to go to school.  Thankfully our friends from Minnesota were visiting and Laila didn’t go back to school the same day as the other kids so I was able to focus mostly just on Ranjit for his first real morning of school.  He got right up and dressed in his room and when he came out he said “mom, I school!  Eat fast!”  And he did :)  I made him oatmeal which seems to be his favorite breakfast so I knew it would go well.  For the big kids I have morning charts for them so that they know what needs to be done each morning and can check it off (no, I wasnt in the military Karen ;) ).  I used to spend a lot of my mornings listing off  “did you brush your teeth?  did you eat? where are your shoes??” and so on so now all I have to say is “Are all your checks done??”  And thank the Lord that it actually works!!  Well since RJ doesn’t read yet so I made him his own version and he LOVES it.  Didn’t you just know I was meant to be his momma ;)  He runs around the house doing all the things on his chart (in order of course) and we’ve been getting in the car on time every morning.

We got in the car and I felt the tears welling up.  We have a certain spot on the way to school where we turn the radio off every morning and take turns praying for each other’s day.  RJ hadn’t ever joined in before, not that he couldn’t he just never chose to.  His prayers have been getting more involved but they always include Emma, Jackson and Laila.  Well after Emma and Jackson prayed he chimed right in and wouldn’t you know he decided to pray for me.  I just couldn’t hold it together after that.  I prayed all choked up and then couldn’t talk and when we pulled into school I just finally yelled “AMEN!” because I couldn’t get anything else out.  The boys held hands on the way in to school and it was the cutest thing ever.  I took RJ to his class and he started the routine of hanging up his things and changing his shoes and his teachers (who I LOVE!) where right there to help too.  He looked at me and said “bye mom!  you go home now!”  Gotta love when they’re excited I guess :)  I had a little list of things to tell the teacher and we went to the side as I’m trying not to cry and then I got to the part of the note where I had told her if he says he’s hungry PLEASE give him a snack.  He’s not a kid that says he’s hungry much so if he says it, he means it and I don’t want any feelings of hunger to trigger any feelings of deprivation or for him to ever think there might not be enough.  So, when I tell her this I burst into tears realizing I forget to put said snacks in his backpack for the day!  Ugh, I was so busy writing the note about the snacks and worrying about them that I actually stupidly forgot to actually put them in there.  DUH!  She was so gracious and said she’d take care of it and he apparently had a fruit by the foot type snack for recess that someone gave him.  You would’ve cracked up watching him try to describe to me what it was!

I walked out of the school with my head in my hands and as soon as I got to he car I lost it.  When I finally pulled myslef together a little bit I just couldn’t leave.  I just knew they would be calling me right back because they couldn’t understand him or because he would be upset without me or because the kids would be making fun of him.  I hysterically was rationalizing in my crazy head that maybe I would just sit  in my car at the school just in case he needed me (and yes, I watch Parenthood).  So I had to phone a friend ;).  Chanda told me he’d be OK and that I had to leave and that as much as I wanted him to, he didn’t need me right that moment.  That’s half the battle I think.  I want him to want to be at school and be OK but I also want him to want me.  I guess I’m never happy ;)

I went back at pickup time and everything went great!  He was standing in line nicely and waiting his turn.  He even hesitated to give his teacher a hug goodbye (which she does with every student in line to leave) because we had told him hugs are only for mommy and daddy.  He asked and I said his teacher is fine to hug too when he got in the car.  I settled him in with Jenni and Erin in the car and then I went back in to ask how his day was.  She had nothing to report or ask me and said the day went just fine.  Well, how about that.  They can actually survive without me…….. I guess it’s a good thing :)

Tuesday went just as well for him and better for me.  I walked him in again and then when I got back home I got Laila on the bus for her school and then the house was empty.  I figured I could sit and cry or I could jump back into the good routine I had going before we left for India.  I downloaded a good podcast, threw in my earbuds and did some cleaning.  Then I got myself back to bible study for the first time since before we left and I had some adult time.  It was good.

Wednesday was our first appointment with the Opthamologist and our first trip to Riley Children’s hospital with RJ.  We’re old hat there with all the things Laila has going on but this was RJ’s first experience.  I got everything worked out so it was able to be just he and I and I was thankful.  We got in and saw one of our favortite doctors (both of the girls see her as well).  She asked me what I knew about anophthamlia and I told her not much.  This was his diagnosis which basically means a missing eye.  I try not to do too much googling or anything like that because then I’ll dream up every possible horrible scenerio.  I’m the one that will tell my friends to STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER!  (Right Chanda and Melissa??)  Anyway, Dr Haider told me that she actually thinks that he has microphthalmia which means there is actually an eye in there but it is very very small.  OK, pause for laughter and visions of a beetlejuice type shrunken head person.  OK, enough of that.  I love you RJ and I hope if you ever read this you either have my sense of humor or know I’m a crazy person and love me anyway :)

The night before  Ranjit’s appointment I started preparing him for it and telling him some of the things the doctor was going to do.  I’ve learned he’s that type of kid that is OK as long as you tell him.  He gets mad if he’s surprised by things at the doctor.  SO different from Jackson who if I tell him, he’ll just obsess until that day.  I hadn’t really talked too much with RJ about his eyes and actually even wondered if he knew anything was different about them.  When I was telling him about the doctor he took his glasses off and pointed to his left eye and said “this one good” then pointed to his right eye and said “this one no good.”  I thought it was interesting.  Well then when we’re sitting in the room waiting for the doctor he turns to me and begins to tell me a jumbled story about a mom sleeping outside, a bird and something hitting his eye and it “too hurt.”  My heart skipped a beat.  As far as I had ever known he had no memories of before coming to the orphanage and they had no information about what had happen to him.  So I pointed to myself and said “this mom?” and he sadly looked down and said “different mom.”  Then of course the doctor walked in.  How’s that for a start to the day?!?  Anyway, back to the appointment….

After talking with the doctor she decided to dilate his eye to get a better look at his coloboma.  That was another thing we knew about but hadn’t done much research.  It means a hole in the eye and I could see it where his pupil is more like an upside down tear drop shape than round.  When we got out into the waiting room while his eye was dilating I tried to ask him about the story of his “mom” again but he didn’t want to talk about it which was fine.  We got called back in and a resident was shining a bunch of lights in his eyes and trying to figure out his prescription which the doctor had already determined he didn’t need a prescription, so I finally kicked him out.  That’s one thing I’ve learned over the past few years.  Mom’s the boss when it comes to hospital and doctor visits.  RJ’s eyes are very sensitive to light (turns out that’s from the coloboma) and I figured I’d like to save all his patience for the actual doctor.  Resident wasn’t too happy, but mommy knows best :)  Once dilated, they were able to tell that he actually has two colobomas one in front and one in back.  Basically his eye never fully closed around his pupil and never fully closed in the back.  Can you believe that he can still see fine out of it?!?!  We are beautifully and wonderfully made my friends :)  The problem with this and the microphthalmia is that there’s a possibility that something caused them not to develop fully.  Could be lots of things and the most likely thing is just malnourishment in the womb and no prenatal care because more than likely his birth mother couldn’t afford it but it could also be an underlying metabolic disorder.  So, onto the endocronologist we go…… He will also have a brain MRI to see if anything else didn’t quite develop correctly in there.  I’m not too worried about it honestly.  Brain damage shmaindamage, he’s a smart boy and seems healthy enough, we’ll deal with whatever it may be as it comes.  This is the advantage of already having another special needs child, nothing really scares us anymore :)

We also found out that he is a fine candidate for a prosthetic eye!  He’s so excited!  We go on Tuesday for our first appointment for that.  I can’t wait to post a picture of his two beautiful eyes soon!

So there you have the majority of our big week.  He’s also been doing physical therapy and I can already see his legs starting to turn back in and he’s only gone a few times and we’ve made a few changes to his sitting habits.  Amazing what a little walking and regular playing and exercise can do.

OH, and we got the Certificate of Citizenship last week!  That was fun and also scary as that means we’ll begin the process of petitioning to change his age.  I’m still waiting on the official letter from the dentist on that before we move forward.

Never a dull moment over here as usual.  I hope you are all starting off to a great new year.  We’ve had a few unwelcomed surprises in our family so far this year but we know God’s still in control!  Oh and did I mention that I have to have a major surgery soon which will put me out of commission for a while…… you tell me how a mother of 4 does that?!?!  See, never a dull moment!

(forgive the typos!)