Eyes Wide Open

Well the time has come that it has now been two weeks since my last blog.  Things are just crazy around here with four children.  They certainly keep me busy.  I’m feeling pretty important these days as I’m trying to get things in place for the kids to be cared for and ran all over when I have surgery the beginning of March.  Gonna take several people to do what this momma does every day :)  Yep, I’m patting myself on the back for once ;)

Things have been going fine with a few new developments and surprises.  Rj got his prosthetic eye and it looks so great!  It’s going to be a long process of first increasing to the right size about once a month but then even after that we’ll be changing it as he grows.  It really seems to have helped him gain confidence and I love watching that.  There’s a super cute video of him that I put on the facebook page that you’ll have to check out if you haven’t done so already.  I took it with the Ipad and didn’t upload it to youtube so I can’t put it on here, sorry :(  Here are a few pictures where you can sort of see it though.  I can never get a good picture of it because if he smiles his big cheeks squint it closed!

I also included what the prosthetic actually looks like when it is out.  When I talk about it, most people crinkle up their nose and some even almost gag.  It is truly not gross or that big of a deal.  I’m trying to educate people because even if he doesn’t show it, RJ hears and sees how you react and it’s hurtful to him.  It truly is like a hard contact lense, no big deal.  Do you inderstand that this boy waited five years for a family and was passed over time and time again and got older and older over the issues of basically a contact lense.  Let that sink in for a few minutes.

As far as I can tell he’s still been doing good in school.  He doesn’t tell me much besides “I play, I color, I eat snack outside….”  We are however really, really struggling during homework time.  Sometimes I thank God that I didn’t end up homeschooling because it is very frustrating and usually the one time of day he is very defiant and ends up in a time out.  But then sometimes I think I wouldn’t have as much pressure to get him up to speed so quickly if we were at home taking our time.  Now this pressure is really only coming from myself.  The teacher hasn’t said a word.  They did say before he started that they would prefer he be in full day kindergarten to help catch up but since I wasn’t willing to do that I said I would work with him at home too.  I feel the pressure then he feels the pressure from me and just shuts down.  He sits with his pencil hovered over the paper and pretends he doesn’t know how to do things that he definitely knows how to do.  Then he’ll do it just the opposite of how I say.  Here’s where the big problem has come in.  When he won’t cooperate I tell him he needs to go to his room (which is right next to where we are and we keep the door open so he’s not sent to completely solitude) then he collapses himself on the floor and when I pick him up to move to his room he……. pees on me.  Oh yes my friends that’s where we are right now.  He’s still not hitting or really screaming and only does some crying but we have pee.  It wasn’t really surprising to me because through all the training we’ve done in foster care and adoption we know this is one thing kids can control so they use it.  We’ve curbed it for the most part by sending him straight to the bathroom before time out.

We had our second post placement visit yesterday and we spent a lot of time talking about this homework time and the issues that we are having.  Can I just say one more time how much I LOVE our social worker!  I’m so thankful to have someone that I’m not scared to tell my struggles to.  So our game plan is to have a meeting with the teacher and see how she thinks he’s doing, give him something low key (like a coloring page) during our family homework time so he stays in the routine but then also taking another time during the day for one on one time to really focus on some math and reading.

Finding the extra time is the problem.  There are so many different things pulling me in so many different directions it’s really hard to find time for anything.  Between Laila & RJ we spend three days a week at therapy in the afternoons.  Two of the days the therapy center is 25 minutes away and one day it is an hour away.  RJ also is the slowest. eater. EVER.  I try not to push that when I don’t have to so I make his lunch as soon as he gets home from school and an hour later he’s still eating when I’m loading Laila up to get them in the car for therapy.  The other days of the week have been filled with all these doctor appointments which I know will die down after a few more months.  We have an appointment for a check up with his pediatrician this week.  His weight is concerning me because last I checked he had lost 3 pounds since he’s been home.  Most kids gain and grow quite a bit in the first 6 months.  This also continues to make me wonder and get more and more curious for our endocrinologist appointment in April and if they will find something as to why he’s not gaining and growing.  Which leads to……

The age change.  This is still on hold.  Once we got his Certificate of Citizenship and the letter from the dentist to go along with the bone age test result we were ready to submit for the age change with Homeland Security.  Then we went to social security.  Social Securtiy and DHS aren’t jiving and they had to send his papers in for investigation for his social securty number.  I’ve called several different branches of several different agencies (who don’t talk to each other) and no one can tell me what’s going on.  With all this confusion there is no way I’m throwing something else in the mix with this mess.  I also do not feel that we can go forward with the age change until we know if there may be some disorder causing his lack of growth.  There are just too many variables up in the air still that I need to make sure we know all the facts before we would do something so drastic.  In the meantime we’re struggling so much with telling RJ how old he is or knowing when and how to celebrate his birthday.  What a mess!

So anyhow, that’s what’s been going on around here lately.  We’ve also had a little snow and the kids have been loving it!  RJ’s love of outdoors and snow seem to have won over his hate of the being cold.  He goes outside to play whenever he gets a chance.