What About RJ

The words above have been said to me sometimes lovingly, sometimes implied and sometimes judgmentally behind my back.  I’m not upset about it, heck I’ve said those words to God myself as well over the last year.

From India to Indiana to Indonesia……

As if it’s not hard enough for an older adopted child to adjust to a new culture, now we’re changing it up on him again.  And could we just stop confusing the poor boy with all the IND places?!?  For Goodness Sake!

It didn’t make sense to me either for RJ to have to go through this change, but I’m so thankful for a loving God, an obedient heart and trusting Him even when it doesn’t make sense to me.

Since moving into our rental house I have seen RJ genuinely cry twice.  That may not seem like a good thing to you, but that is a HUGE step forward for us.  Before we moved two months ago, I had only seen RJ genuinely cry twice…. in almost six years.   Feeling comfortable enough to show us his emotions and talk about them is incredible.  And none of the crying had to do with moving.  It was fear of being in trouble and missing his birth mom.

Here’s all I can figure out: he’s feeling more secure.  Again, I know that might not make sense to you and it didn’t to me without prayer enlightenment and seeing it for myself.  He is finding security because we have proved ourselves to him through moving.  He has seen that even though we moved into a different house, we’re all still together and our love for him didn’t change.

He’s finally getting that we are never going to abandon him.  Moving out of the only house he had ever known and moving into this rental house was a test.  I believe he had his security rested in our house and same comfortable life, not in relationship.  It wasn’t until he had that life turned upside down and really had to trust us to live out those words “we will never leave you” that he began to let some walls down.  It was a rough transition but little by little he is learning to trust.

I don’t know about you, but that’s how I am with God sometimes too.  I’m all good in my little comfortable bubble until God turns my world upside down, then I grow closer to Him. Then, cling to Him with my true feelings showing.  I wish it wasn’t that way.  I wish I would search for Him that hard outside the struggles but it’s just human I guess.

The truth is at the top of this page.  Trials produce endurance, endurance produces character, and characters strengthens our hope of something better.

May we all have the strength and endurance of Super RJ :)