Two Different Places

Jack has been gone for 37 days for training…. but who’s counting.  He did surprise the kids by flying home for 20 hours this past weekend which was amazing but also hard because he had to leave again.  There’s a pretty cool video of him surprising the kids on our facebook page if you wanna check it out :)

This has been a struggle.  I have so much more respect for single and military parents.  I don’t think I could do this long term.

We have not only been separated for such a long time but our experiences of this separation have been very different.  Jack is excited to be working on and learning about airplanes again, while I’m at home dealing with homeschooling, parenting and also dealing with the stages of grief about moving.

Don’t get me wrong.  I love that the kids and I are still getting to visit with friends and family back here at home.  I love that we can have dinner with our parents or get in a coffee date with a friend.  And of course Jack misses us like crazy and is also very lonely in his apartment where he will more than likely spend this Easter weekend alone.

But it’s definitely hard to be married, in two different places, and watching him start this exciting new life without us right now.

I’m grateful.  Uh….. “that doesn’t make sense” you may say.  “You just got done with a long complaining rant.”

I’m grateful because hardship makes us stronger.  I’m grateful because another wise woman told me last summer that this would be a struggle in our marriage when we get to Sentani as well.  We will struggle because Jack will finally work on airplanes and be excited about that and I will be left alone in an unfamiliar house, in an unfamiliar city while he is living out his dream.  I’m grateful that I’ve been praying about that since last August and I can know and recognize it.

I’m grateful that our marriage is built on great communication and trust.  Not for one minute have I hid my feelings from Jack and felt resentful towards him for this.  He’s the other half of me and cares and wants to know my struggles and my victories.  He sits and talks and prays with me over Skype and I do the same for him.

God has been SO faithful to encourage us through His word.  I’m thankful that we know thatHe is where our strength and answers comes from.  Not from each other.

Our life since the beginning of the year may have been too many morning Skype dates and less in person embrace but I’m thankful that I’m not hiding my feelings and that I know that God has a plan for us that is good.

I love and am excited for this new life God has called us to, but that doesn’t mean I’m not struggling.  And honestly, I think if anyone were packing up their life and leaving everyone and everything they know and told you they were just fine with it, I’d be more worried about that person.

Thanks for always being a place where I can keep it real.  My prayer is always that people will feel OK not to be OK and stop using the F word all the time.

FINE, I meant the word “fine.”

*side note:  Most MAF families are not separated for this portion of training.  This was our choice for the kids and I to stay home.