Milk Made Me Cry

Listen to me.  Two weeks from today we will be in Indonesia.  IN Indonesia.  This is insane.

Where did the time go?  How is it here already?

I bought milk today with an expiration date of July 25th…. the day we leave. Can you even comprehend that with me??

I truly feel like our days are a fleeting shadow right now.  Where did they go?

I want more time but in some ways I don’t.  We are very excited to finally get into the new life God called us to but I wish we could bring our church, our friends and our family with us.  Anyone else wanna come with us??  I’m sure we could figure out a job for you!!

Our house is empty but our hearts are so full.  The love that we feel for our friends and family right now is so raw and real and terrible and beautiful.  I want to soak up every minute and feel my feelings and grieve and leave well.  This is one of the weirdest feelings I have ever felt.

Adoption brought excited and terrified = exerrified.

Death brought horrific grief and a weird joy.  When people told me my tears would turn to joy, I wanted to punch them in the face. I never thought I would ever feel joy again but I do.  I’ve typed and erased a few different ways to describe it and there are just no words.  Those of you with hurting hearts hopefully get it.

This new step of faith is grief and excitement.  Such deep grief of saying goodbyes “see you laters” and the excitement of stepping into a new adventure.  And then will come the grief of the struggle to adjust to that culture.  Then the excitement of seeing the growth through little victories and new revelations of God’s provision and character.

I CAN’T WAIT to share this journey with you.

Please, please pray for us over these next two weeks.  These days are fleeting and exhausting and exciting and sad.  We need the Lord.  We need your prayers to get everything done and to leave well.

Thanks for letting me share :)