The “Why” Days

Ever have a “why me” day?  I do. 

The following is a conversation I had with God this morning as homesickness flooded in, yet again.

• Me – Why do I have to do so many hard things?

– “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

• Me – Why can’t my life just be “normal”.

– “Don’t be like the people of this world, but let God change the way you think. Then you will know how to do everything that is good and pleasing to him.”  Romans 12:2

• Me – Why do I have to live on the other side of the world away from my family?

– “If you come to me but will not leave your family, you cannot be my follower. You must love me more than your father, mother, wife, children, brothers, and sisters—even more than your own life!” Luke 14:26

• Me – Why do you have to take so many things from me?  My daughter, my life, my country, my language, my possessions…

– “In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples.” Luke 14:33

• Me – Remind me of your promises because I need to be lifted up in the midst of sorrow.

– “And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19

-“No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.  And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  Romans 8:37-38

– “But all who listen to me will live in peace, untroubled by fear of harm.” Proverbs 1:33

– “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” John 14:27

– “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 6:23

– “When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am.” John 14:3

– “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

And after sitting awhile in His promises, the tightness in my chest lifts… the tears slow… I can breathe again. 

Am I still sad?  Yes.

Do I still wish I could be in DeMotte for my mom and sister’s birthdays and my in-laws 50th wedding anniversary party this weekend?  Yes.

Is there really a peace that passes understanding that could only come from the Lord.  Yes.

Jack came in and asked me what I’m writing about.  I told him I’m lamenting.  Sometimes we just need to do that.  At least I do.  I need to be honest with myself and especially with God.  I need to not pretend that every day is rainbows and sunshine.  But then when I’m done, I need to go to the only Truth that exists.  God’s Word.  It never, ever comes back void.

If you’ve never read it before, please read the description of why this blog remains to be called “Adopting Judah” even as it has evolved from just about adoption.  Check it out by clicking here.  I thank God so much for David and the honestly in his Psalms.

As always, thanks for letting me share :)