In Our Weakness…..

We’ve been quiet.  We know.

There was an unexpected occurrence that we needed to wrap our heads around for awhile.  We needed to take the time to seek the Lord, let Him speak His truth over us about who we are and where our worth comes from.  We needed to gain perspective.

With time, came perspective.  God’s perspective.

At the end of our Unit 2 evaluations at language school it was suggested that Jack take a month of a special class to help solidify his language before moving on to Unit 3.  This was not the plan that we had in our head.  Our plan was to study together.  Our plan was to be able to help each other.  Our plan was to be in Salatiga studying language for the least amount of time possible.

So, here’s us being vulnerable because we want others to know how real the thoughts from the enemy can seem and how if left unchecked and not filtered through God’s word and wise Biblical counsel, those thoughts can ruin you.

Jack’s initial thoughts (his own words shared with his permission)

• I’m dumb.
• The people who fly the airplanes I will be working on won’t trust me.
• Maybe I made a mistake by thinking I could do this.
• I’ve failed my family because we may not be able to move to Sentani when we thought we would.
• I don’t want to be in class without Angie.
• I let myself and everybody else down.

My initial (and mostly selfish) thoughts:

• This is all my fault.  If I wasn’t so overbearing, as always, and just let him talk more then this wouldn’t have happened.
• This is going to completely damage all the confidence Jack has worked so hard to finally build up these last few years.
• I do. not. want to study all by myself.  I don’t want to be the only student in the class needing to answer all of the questions and do all of the talking.
• Why.  Always why.  Why does everything always have to be so stinking hard.  Why can’t God just give us one easy task.  Ever.
• What will the kids think?  What will our supporters think?  What will MAF think?

Taking time to be quiet and seek the Lord brought us these thoughts:

• Jack is an extremely talented man with aviation skills that are desperately needed to further the Gospel here in Indonesia.
• Many have struggled with language learning.  After discussing it with MAF, this is much more common than we thought.
• Language learning is a skill like being an artist.  Some possess the ability to paint a gorgeous picture and some can draw a basic landscape.  We can both do it, it just looks different.
• This is only one skill of many and God’s word says that we need them all to function as a healthy Body (see Romans 12).  This helps us continue to need each other and not boast.
• God can and will use this time to build up Jack’s confidence in communication and in general as he uses our weaknesses to make us strong.
• This is really a great opportunity for us both to grow in our language learning as we each have the opportunity to study one on one with our individual language coaches.
• God has blessed us with the fact that we are not both struggling to learn the language.  We have yet another chance to see how He put us together to help and support one another in this area.  We are each other’s help mate and other half in so many areas of our lives.

Thank you for supporting us in this journey with your kind words and prayers.  Thank you for allowing us to be vulnerable and honest.

Please pray against the spirit of discouragement that comes and goes as we walk through this new life, language, country and people.  The highs are so high and the lows are so very low.

It’s only by God’s strength through prayer and supplication that we are able to see these situations through His eyes and with His perspective.

Thank you to my husband for being so brave to share this.  He’s my hero and my heart.  He hopes this encourages someone, somewhere.