Others Need You

Last fall Emma was in a production of Narnia.  Many things stood out to me throughout watching that play 3 times (#proudmomma).  There was one thing that brought me to tears every time I watched it.  It is not a giant moment in the story line and you could almost miss it.

In one of the final scenes, there has been a battle and many people are injured.  Lucy, the youngest sister, has been given a special potion by Aslan that can heal any injury or sickness.  Lucy runs to her brother Edmund to give him the potion that can heal him.  After that, she wants to sit with him and hold him and make sure he is alright.  But, Aslan doesn’t allow this.  He tells Lucy that there are many others who need that potion as well.  She needs to leave Edmund in Aslan’s care and go out and help others.

I cried every.single.time I watched that part of the play and now when I watch the movie.

I miss my moms.  I miss my dads. I miss my brothers and sisters.  I miss my friends that have known me for years and who I was before all of this.  I want to go home.

I think that pandemic right now has heightened that to a new level for me.  And before you say it’s just as bad, if not worse, in the US I already know that.  And before you say God has a plan and I’m right where I need to be, I already know that.  There’s just something about all of this that makes me long to be next to my people.

But the truth is that I can’t just run.  I know my feelings are deceiving and my heart can fool me.  I know there are people here who love me and maybe even need me.  I know that my husband possesses the skills needed to help saves lives.  I know there is purpose for me here as well.

I want to sit and hold my sister and not go out and help others but it’s not God’s will for me.

I have no profound words and solutions but today I felt the need to get these words out there.  I’ve always appreciated being able to look back at these entries and be able to piece together how God is working, teaching and changing me.

To Him be the glory.