Sharing is Caring

First of all…. she slept again!!  She seems to feel so much better and I am just praising praising praising the Lord that the stent seems to have been the problem.  I know I told you all that I wasn’t putting all my eggs in the stent basket but you know secretly I was!

I have felt compelled to share a little of what happened on Wednesday when we were at the hospital for the surgery.  It’s not always the easiest for me but I know God is working in my life and I want to give him all praise, glory and honor for how He is moving.

Jack went with on Wednesday and we had a nice drive down.  I love getting that guy alone for a car ride.  It’s usually the only way I can get him to sit still long enough to chat with me.  I’d love nothing more than to sit on the couch all day while he is one that gets stir crazy super quick and always has to have some sort of project going on.

I was pretty impressed with myself (rubs knuckles on shirt) that I really wasn’t worried about the actual surgery part of things.  I knew that it was a minor thing and Laila always does well with these minor outpatient procedures.  I had been back to the hospital for an appointment earlier in the week and had even been in a patient room visiting our friend and had no problem being there after all that we went through.

One problem was that for some reason this procedure wasn’t being done in the outpatient clinic, it was being done in the regular OR…. hmm… interesting but OK.  And then there they were.  Those stupid orange fish.

The registration clerk took us into the pre/post op area.  I had no idea how it would affect me but it was bad.  As soon as I walked in there I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t hold back tears, I was terrified.  See, we saw things no parent should see in that room and felt feelings that no parent should ever have to feel.  That area had a hold on me and I needed to break free.  Then she put on those green hospital clothes. Then there were the beeps of the all familiar machines.  I just sat there with tears streaming down my face, frozen.

But then I just couldn’t sit there anymore letting those hours and weeks of fear have a hold on me anymore.  I got up, closed the door, and grabbed my man and my precious girl and we prayed.  I prayed that all the feelings of fear and guilt would be released.  I prayed that Satan would have no hold on our minds and emotions and that God would reign in that room and in that day and in our whole lives.  And guess what…. I could breathe again.  I wasn’t all better in an instant but I could breathe.  And then minute by minute I could function again.

Then it was time to empty Laila’s ports before she went in to surgery and I did it.  I  had to go down the hall and into that bathroom where I cried and vomited and begged God for my daughter’s life after that second emergency surgery.  I was hesitant but did it.  And I prayed through that too and God gave me strength.

On the way home Jack and I had a chance to talk together about that whole experience.  He had a hard time being back in there too and shared with me some things I didn’t know about that happened that scary morning a few short weeks ago.  Man, I’m thankful for that guy!!

I feel like day by day God is giving us the strength to get through each thing He is allowing in our lives.   It is NOT easy but it is worth it.

The bracelet below was something that I got as a challenge.  I was challenged to pray about One Little Word for the year of 2016 and ask God what he would like me to bind to my wrist every day to remind me of Him and challenge me to work on.  The word I felt Him give me was trust.  Wow.  I look at it and remember that every day of all of our lives have been ordained by an amazing wonderful creator.  Nothing is a surprise to Him.  Nothing is beyond Him.  All we need to do is trust.

Thanks for letting me share :)

Philippians 4:8-9 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.