The tiny tough guy

We made it through the day! RJ was quite the little trooper. We had to be there very early (5:30 our time) but he was up and ready to go. We went to Indy the night before and crashed on our friend’s couch to make it a little easier.

The emotions and the things with RJ are sometimes hard to explain if you don’t have an older adoptive child. In a nutshell, RJ is still a very nervous kiddo who watches and waits for what others do or expect him to do before he jumps in. This makes for a very interesting guessing game as a parent. He acted fine and seemed fine as the pre-op nurse asked questions and got him ready. He even told her he was fine to walk down the hall and away from me with her. Then as he got down the hall he turned and yelled for me. Breaks my heart. After almost four years I’m trying to let his yes be yes and no be no but my mommy gut knew he was nervous but wasn’t saying it and I should’ve acted on that.

The doctor came to talk to me and the surgery went perfect. No scarring from the previous surgery as a hinderance, there were muscles to attach the donor tissue to, and he was able to increase the implant by almost double.

He woke up fine from anesthesia and of course the nurse was praising and praising him for what a good patient he is and he loves that so he was trying to do everything please her. He was even pretending to be a pirate to make her laugh and shoveling the crackers in and again she was praising him. And again my mommy gut knew this too was not quite right and sure enough, all those crackers came right back up and out. The really sad part is that I had barely sat the bowl of vomit back down before he reached for them again and looked at her waiting for her to tell him good job. I tried several times before and after the surgery to explain that I needed to know how he was really feeling and that it was ok to feel sick or scared but he wanted to be a little tiny tough guy.

He has been doing good this afternoon but overdid it a little and finally told me he was hurting but it wasn’t time for pain meds yet. I told him he might need to rest a bit and next thing I knew I found him like this,tucked into his bed…

One very vulnerable true moment for my little buddy today was when he looked up at me with a tear running down his cheek and said “mommy, I’m afraid the kids at school will make fun of my eye.” I reassured him but please, if you have a kiddo please teach them to be kind. All of us have something weird or different but God made us each perfect and whether our quirk is physical or anxiety or a learning problem, we are all loved and should feel loved.

Thanks for letting me share a few thoughts and thanks for your prayers today :)

1 Corinthians 13:13 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.