Why Goodbye?

I need to say goodbye.

Many people have told me that I need to say “see you later” as we enter into this seasoning of leaving.  For me, that is not healthy right now.

I spent several years without crying or feeling my emotions at all.  That got me into a whole heap of trouble and denial.  When I thought I was “self protecting” by not feeling, I was shutting people out.  I ended up hurting people and myself by not recognizing big things in my life and feeling the feelings that go along with them.

If I don’t say goodbye I feel that I will have regrets and that these deep feelings will come out in some other unhealthy emotion, like anger or indifference.

I’m saying my goodbyes right now.  I’m acknowledging that there is loss of physical closeness and hugs.  I’m recognizing that people’s lives move on and change and so will mine.  I know children will grow and get big and I won’t be here to see it.

I fully expect to keep many of my very important relationships but I also expect and know they will never be the same.  I will never be the same.  I hope and pray it’s better!  There will be growth and deepness and intentionality in these relationships never before.  But, what we have now will never be the same and this is a loss I need to recognize.

I also know some relationships might not continue and rather than being in denial about that, I feel the healthy thing to do is to feel the loss.  And to know that is ok.  There is a time and a season for everything and I know and understand that has been the case for me many times in my life and I’m still so very grateful for those relationships.

What I’m not saying is that I’ll never see you again or that our relationship is ending.  Getting goodbye from me might also include “ok, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

From me you will get “goodbye.”  And that’s ok.  And it’s ok for you to say “see you later.”  We each do what’s right for us and I’m thankful for that.

Thanks for letting me share😊.

**This is not directed at any one person.  Many, many people have made this comment to me.  I’d also like to say that I totally understand the idea behind what you’re saying and what’s right for you.**