And I exhale……… after over a year. We have a visa and clearance to bring Ranjit home. Now that I’ve told you what everyone was dying to know, here’s the story of the last two days. side note: taking the time to blog everyday has been a bit of a time strain but when I have to combine two days like this I realize I’m so glad I did it everyday because the days run together and I know I’m going to miss some good things of yesterday because my crazy memory fades so quickly.
Day 7
We got up and had a wonderful breakfast at the villa. I just love it here. The house is beautiful and the staff is amazing, especially the owner. I also find how much I love the positive attitude in India. I find myself saying words like wonderful and lovely and beautiful more than cool or neat or pretty. Funny how quickly you change your speech when around others. The people sharing our floor are from Australia and I’m LOVING their accent :)
We then explored the villa a bit and the owner let the kids play in her private yard because she had bikes for her grand daughters and a little slide. I love the safety of this place too. It’s gated and you really feel at home. We’re not even remembering to lock our doors at times which seems weird but it really feel like family. The only thing we didn’t know about it is that you have to pay for all your meals at the end in cash which we were short on from having to pay the lawyer. So we decided to check out the bank across the street. Our agency was right that it’s way faster to exchange at the airport! About an hour later I came out with our rupees and then hit the ATM and that thankfully worked too so we should be all set.
The owner here works with a blind school in another part of town and told us about a Diwali bizarre they were having where we could do a little shopping. We LOVED the idea of doing our shopping someplace where others would benefit. We got most of our shopping done there and will hopefully finish up tomorrow. We braved the Metro and did pretty well for ourselves when we figured out that a few of the area names are very similar. The guards at the security booths were laughing at us as we went down the stairs and then back up the stairs to go back down again to the right spot ;) One of them asked us about Ranjit and whether or not he is Indian. We said yes and then he asked us if we purchased him. That one kind of knocked my wind out. He wasn’t being rude and said it with a kind attitude he just got the words a little different than I would’ve liked. I just said kindly that we adopted him. Then I got the head bobble and a smile and he said we were great people. I think Ranjit is great people :)
The Metro is great but CRAZY at times. There are so many people in this city that they just can not keep up. There were times when I truly wondered if one more person would fit on the train but somehow 100 more would get on. When the stops would come it reminded me of carp fish and a big sea of people pushing a shoving to get in and out. Most of the time someone gave up a seat for me to sit with Ranjit on my lap which was very nice and I didn’t see happen a lot. In India it seems like there’s no lines or rhyme or reason that I understand how things work. Like at the bank, there are four people at the window handing their check to the teller and he just picks one. It’s like everyone is always fighting for what they need. I finally got a little back bone today at McDonald’s because people would just walk right in front of me in line. So imagine how crazy the Metro is!!
Off the Metro it was just a short ride in a tuk tuk over to the bizarre. We had the cutest little driver. Jackson wanted to sit in front with him and he let him and then he even let Jackson drive!! He was so excited! Unfortunately I had forgot to put the memory card back in my camera so I have no pictures for facebook of any of it. I did take some with my cell phone but I can’t get them uploaded until we get home.
The bizarre was just what I had been looking for. All kinds of little booths and people selling things. There was no bargaining either since it was for charity. I don’t like bargaining anyway because I never know what is a good price. I’m also “bad” at tipping here. I feel like I should tip more than recommended because that’s what I would tip at home. I think I was tipping our rickshaw drivers Rs. 100 and I should’ve been 10. Oh well, I hope they were blessed by it, that’s only $1 to me!
I knew I wanted to buy some Indian things for our home and some special gifts for Ranjit for the years to come and I had such a hard time deciding. I know I want to come back to India someday but I have no idea if I’ll be able to so if I can’t I wanted some special things for him. How do you decided on things like that?? Emma and I loved just looking around shopping but the boys weren’t that excited about it so I finally picked some things so we could go. Ranjit did better in public and even talked to a man and told him who we all were. It’s good and bad that he’s getting more comfortable in public I guess being there four hours was long enough! We also ate food there which was a bit of a gamble for our stomaches but we did OK. My favorite things are momos and dosa masala with coconut chutney.
For dinner we tried a restaurant across the street from our hotel (do you see it’s all about the food :) ). It was mostly Western food but it was very good. Ranjit was excited because they serve breakfast all day so he was able to have pancakes. He got very quiet and a bit unresponsive again as we waited for our food. I don’t like when he does that, it scares me. He just sits and stares. I’m not sure why if he’s just overwhelmed or what but it’s the second time he’s done it. It makes me so thankful that’s not how he is all the time. I prayed for joy or tears or anger or something at least to know he’s in there and still capable of feeling after all his hurt. I’m overjoyed at how he is and praising God for answering so many many days and nights of prayer.
Day 7 marked the first night of no tears a bedtime! Praise God! He even shooed me out of the room saying “mommy, go! good night mommy!” The boys are in one room and Emma and I in another and I think he’s liking his daddy time. The first night in the room he laid with Jack and cried a little and then last night he laid in his own bed and slept with no tears. He did try to be a little naughty and talk and laugh but quieted down. Of course at a boy sleepover you laugh and giggle yourself to sleep :)
I went out the to the living room to blog and found no internet. I waited a few minutes for Jack to come out like he said he would but after a few I knew he had fallen asleep waiting for Ranjit to settle so I too went to bed. I’m sleeping so much better now, just in time to go home and have the time change again!
Day 8
This morning we had breakfast scheduled at 8:30 and the car coming at 9:00 to take us to the med center and embassy. Jack had been wrestling with the decision of whether or not to go with us or for he and the two other kids to stay back. We had been told that they couldn’t come into the embassy with us and it may be 2-3 hours so they’d just be sitting in the car that whole time. He finally decided to go. I think he was afraid if I got bad news I would be alone and he wanted to be there for me. I also think he wanted to see what things were like and experience as much with us as he could.
I told Jack on the way that I was at peace. I really think that whole paperwork scare on Wednesday whipped my thinking in to shape. It would be hard to watch the others leave if we stay behind but I would know at least we’d all be together in America soon. I was hoping it was God’s peace that we would go home together but was also OK if it was just peace to stay.
The med center had administered Ranjit’s TB test at 10:45am and it needed to be read 48 hours later. I took a long shot by going early to see if they would read it. We arrived at 9:45 walked straight to the room and they read it and told us to go down to the immigration office to wait for our report. Prayer answered! The immigration office got his medical report ready right away and we were in and out of there within an hour again. The doctor we saw came down to sign the report and he again seemed to take an interest in us and put us on the top of his list. Thank you God for going before us! This got us out of there even before we were scheduled to even have it read!
We hopped back in the car and headed to the embassy. We had decided to try to bring Jack and the other kids in with us and it worked!! I was thankful for the company and Jack was thankful to be able to see and be a part of the experience. They took our return paper and the sealed medical report and then we sat. It was about an hour before we heard form anyone. In this time you really wonder what’s going on back there and feel like maybe someone should be asking you questions or at least giving you an update but nothing. The officer on our first trip there had said that often there are glitches and it could take 2-3 hours so you sit there having no idea how long it will be.
About an hour and fifteen minutes in a man called us to the window and apologized that it took so long and gave us everything. There was a beautiful little visa sticker in Ranjit passport, a Hague adoption certificate and the big mysterious packet everyone talks about that we’re not allowed to open until we give it to immigration in the US. If it wasn’t for the double pane bullet proof glass and possible assault charges I would’ve kissed that man!
I turned around with the papers and exhaled. I thought I had exhaled a few times in this process but today I fully exhaled. Holding your breath for over a year will really take it out of you but will grow you as well. We’ve been through a lot in our marriage and God has stretched us in many ways and we’ve always tried to follow Him to the other side of whatever crazy scheme He puts in front of us but I feel like this has been the biggest for me. I’ve had to let go of control and that’s very hard for me. For some reason I do it better when I’m in another country and can just go with the flow but at home and when it comes to my children, I need to know I can make everything OK. This I could not make OK. I had a boy waiting on the other side of the world from me that I had no control of when I could get to him. I knew everyone was doing their part and I knew we already had an amazing timeline and many miracles but it still wasn’t fast enough. I needed my son and I couldn’t get to him. One more day is another day of loss, another day I could be showing him love and teaching him to receive it, another day he tried to quiet his tears in the night, another day he wondered what if I make it to my next birthday.
This is what I’ve learned and I’m sure will continue to learn and be reminded of in my human life: God’s timing is perfect. Period. Waiting is hard, unknown is even harder but God’s plan is perfect. Period. Would I have loved to have Ranjit sooner? YES! But there were things God needed to work on in that time of waiting. Things I see and I know many more I won’t understand until I get to heaven and I’m OK with that. The blessing of today much out weighs the sorrow of yesterday. You were so right Tara, when I hold this child, I cry “Lord I have not suffered near enough for this blessing.” When he puckered his little lips and kissed me for real for the first time today I soared! Watching and listening to him learn has been amazing.
We’ve had the privilege of raising two biological kids and watching them from birth and then coming into Laila’s life at the age of two and seeing miracle after miracle in her development and knowledge and now this absolute gift of an 8yr old boy who’s joy crossed the world to us, I wonder why us? Why are we so blessed? We thank you Father God for the love you lavish on us! We are the ones who are blessed.
*A few people have asked so wanted to let you know that we are open to people meeting us at the airport on Sunday when we fly in. Ranjit is doing very well and I know will be excited :) If you’re interested please private message me or email and I’ll give you our flight information.