Two weeks down, One to go!

Well maybe, possibly, please oh please God by this time next week our court hearing will have actually happen.  Two weeks ago when we found out they not only pushed it back again but also pushed it THREE WEEKS, I’ve gotta tell you that this momma bear put on her angry pants!  I was angry with the judge, angry with the lawyer and Holt for not fighting harder (not that they could’ve).  The bad thing is I get angry with myself for thinking that it would actually happen.  I know it sounds crazy and backwards but I think “why did you actually think it would happen, of course there’s going to be a set back!”  I have this stupid self protective pessimist that lives in my head but every once in a while I let a little ray of hope in and when it doesn’t go my way I am devastated.  OK, so now I’m sounding definitely crazy so don’t send this to my social worker……. Hi Darla :)  Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that I’m learning.  I’m learning to look at the things that matter and see the positive that is happening in the wait.  If you didn’t read that devotion I posted last week go back and check it out.  It’s worth your time and I didn’t write it so it’s actually good!.  Two weeks ago I told Jack that I was afraid if they keep pushing this court date back I might just let my pessimism take over and not be excited anymore when the court date that does stick comes around.  The first time I stayed up all night praying, the next time I stay up on and off praying and I was afraid that now that it’s rolling around again finally the excitement would wear off and I would just be thinking ‘yeah, if it happens!’ but I’m really learning and trying to actively take those thoughts captive and turn to the truth.  That is that God has written every day of my life before I have lived it, He has written every day of Ranjit’s life as well.  He wrote the day that the police found Ranjit on the street, He wrote the day I was sitting in church watching videos of orphans, He wrote the day Ranjit went to the hospital, He wrote the day I found out that Steven Curtis Chapman was having a concert, He wrote the day that they transferred RJ to his new orphanage, He wrote the day that we found Ashenafi on Rainbow Kids, He wrote the days that RJ has been hungry, He wrote that day that I screamed out to Him in pain over losing Judah, He wrote the day that RJ watched yet another child find a family but not him, He wrote the day that RJ showed up in my email, He wrote the day that RJ found out that he indeed has a family.  This has all been a part of His perfect plan all along and if we can look past ourselves for two seconds we can see how absolutely breathtaking the miracles and blessings have been throughout every day He has written.

So in the meantime, I’m preparing my field for the harvest (that reminds me, I need to shave my legs…..;) ).  I have gotten into a great routine with these three kiddos with school and therapy and life.  I have made myself a chore chart (oh you know it’s pretty and laminated too!) and I’ve been keeping up with the housework, I’ve been exercising, I’ve been reading although had to take a break from some of the attachment books and am now reading “No Longer a Slumdog” which is heartbreaking, I just started downloading some pretty great podcasts (Thank you Karen!) that I’m listening to while I walk when Laila is in therapy, and I’m going to start copying and getting together my document packet to take with us when we finally get the call for travel.  I’m trying to boot that pessimist out of my head before all H E double hockey sticks breaks out trying to adjust to another child in the house and start home schooling him.  God knew I needed this time to grow, He’s given us blessings and opportunities to earn and raise more money before those big travel expenses come, He’s giving me peace when it comes to Ranjit and that’s a good place to be, and I take it day by day.

I did ask and found out that we can send him “flat things” that can be put in with documents and such that Holt sends to the orphanage almost every week so here’s a picture of the stuff we sent today that will hopefully be sent to him on Friday.  I’m hoping he hasn’t been wondering why we haven’t sent him things yet but I’m hoping to send something every week now until we can actually deliver ourselves there :)