Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
—Hebrews 12:2
The news is out, Jack is in America right now.
He has some training to do in Idaho at headquarters so he took some vacation time to come to NW Indiana first to visit family.
We had originally been scheduled to furlough this summer but for several reasons, we pushed it back a year. One reason being that we will have more time when Jackson graduates in 2024. That was a decision we prayed about for several months and settled on. That means by the time we have another furlough it would be almost three years since our family comes to visit in America.
I’m always honest, a lot of the time to a fault, but I’m gonna be honest again… this has been something very difficult for me. I miss our family. I’m very jealous that Jack is there for two weeks vacation and seeing everyone without me.
This life is not easy. Please, it’s not all beaches and cute coffee shops. Lately it’s been earthquakes and fires and gunshots. So thankful for peace that passes understanding.
It is so worth it. My life is not my own. I belong to Jesus. He is the Lord of my life. I have not just accepted Him as my Savior, but Lord. I don’t just believe that He died to save me. It’s not all about me, it’s absolutely not. I now live for Him because I accept His lordship over my life. Not out of obligation or to earn anything, but because if He gave His life for me and loved me that much, I will love Him that way too. I let Him be Lord. I let Him direct my steps and sometimes that means leading me into difficult situations.
And just liked he experienced sorrow on Earth, so will I. But because He has already won, He has already overcome the world, I can gain strength from Him and His word.
So, I lament. And that ok. It’s ok to struggle and be sad and to be honest with the Lord about it. But then I let the Holy Spirit, through God’s word, remind me that it is all for His glory and He is worth it. I repeat to myself the things I wrote above. And I search for joy. He meets me there.
I process, and then I take my eyes off of me and fix my eyes on Jesus, the author and perfect or of my faith.
So if you see Jack over these next few weeks, send a hug for me. I’m still over here in Papua loving on my boys and doing the other works He has called me to as well.
Thanks for letting me share and for your care and prayers for our family.